a beautiful mess.

The end of the year brings a strange kind of exhaustion my way, though I can feel things start to improve pretty late in the day. I just need a day to recover from all the crazy business of the past few weeks!

x

Girls night should be a break from the norm, but when it's the same routine every week, the excitement dies out and the sanctity of girls night is challenged! I'm dreading the same ol' trip to the local club -- and if I hear "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" one more time, I'm swearing off ladies night for eternity.

However last night was pure fun. Myself and my girls practically rocked Movida's dancefloor. Salsa,baby! (:

Next, New Year's eve! ((:

"Sometimes a girl wants nothing more than to feel unapologetically pretty."

xxx

I believe you and I were created as one, before even our consciousness was created. I believe we were torn apart and strewn, and love, as you know it, as I understand it, is the act of picking up the pieces, finding each other, and trying to fit ourselves together. I know this because the blood in your eyes matches the pain deep in mine. I have not found peace; I fight to win because what you see is all that I have.

I've been broken. But don't you see that we are all broken in some way, waiting for someone to find us and fix us? I expose my scars to you because you are my best friend, and best friends deserve to know how I feel about my father leaving, or my first disillusionment of love in the face of disloyalty, or the resentment that builds up from needing to fight harder than others because the world was not built upon virtues of fairness. I want forever, and I want it with you. I had fought so hard and so long that I had forgotten what it felt like to be disarmed. All that you had discovered is all that I have.

We know it is never that simple.

Allow me this revealing thought: You and I were created as one. And love, as I understand it, is finding you and loving you with all my heart.

what a beautiful thought.

pushing daisies.

I resolve to:

Wear sunblock everyday even on my body

Give away the clothes I never wear away

Figure out why I "really" need 5 different online profile

Not name my child strange names like Bronx Mogley, Bluebell Madonna, or Audio Science when I have kids (Ashley Simpson, Geri Halliwell and Shannyn Sossoman are you reading this?)

Carry on spending like there's no tomorrow - it will help the economy

Not freak out if I miss the first 2 minutes of America's Next Top Model or Heroes

Throw out all lipsticks, mascarras and creams that went nasty 6 months ago

Not go to bed without removing my makeup off - no matter how tired or tipsy I am

Quit smoking

Stop superpoking friends on Facebook

Bring back It bags!

All in all; We can resolve to lose weight, quit smoking and get out of debt any time of the year. But trying something completely different, standing up for yourself, channelling your inner dominatrix or even volunteer with MSF in Dahur, Africa, now that's the stuff that deserves some 1st January celebratory fireworks and bubbly. My feel? Attracting love and wealth in the New Year

Love;

Waves a magic wand over this world and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful

Captivating;

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness

Earthy;

Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye

Feminine;

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it

Fresh;

There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That is precisely what makes its pursuit so interesting

Passionate;

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got

Mesmerising;

Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art.

xoxo

solemn florals.

Whenever I have expensive taste, it's hard to hold back from the good stuff. When I'm shopping, that Louis Vuitton bag just calls to me. Well, it seems that I've gotta sacrifice my taste level longer till the global economy takes a peak.

It's like bidding war. You never know when the stock market plunges down or go stake high. Bummer!
It never crossed my mind that the world recession could affect me
It is, NOW.
It is.

Countdown; 4 more days to '09
Let's hope it'll be a fruitful year.

xoxo

flames of life.

When you are a kid you have your own language, and unlike French or Mandarin or whatever you start learning in school, this one you're born with, and eventually lose. Everyone under the age of seven is fluent in Ifspeak; go hang around with someone under three feet tall and you'll see. What if a giant funnelweb spider crawled out of the hole over your head and bit you on the neck? What if the only antidote for venom was locked up in a vault on the top of a mountain? What if you lived through the bite, but could only move your eyelids and blink out an alphabet? It doesn't really matter how far you go; the point is that it's a world of possibility. Kids think with their brains cracked wide open; becoming an adult, I've decided, is only a slow sewing shut.

My candle burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -

It gives a lovely light!

for the greater good.

As we quickly approach the New Year, I find myself looking back on 2008 and reflecting on all events - both good and bad that have transpired. I feel there’s really no better way to remember the passing of time than through pictures.

This year seemed to bring about a stormy upheaval, with more bad news than good. Natural disasters in a variety of forms - the devastating earthquake in China, hurricanes and wildfires buffeting the US and a continuous series of man-made disasters that rocked the world economic communities - flourished without relent.

It seemingly started with the sub-prime mortgage crisis, followed by a tsunami like ripple effect, causing havoc throughout the global financial industry. And if that wasn’t enough bad news, the web of global terrorism continued to widen its reach in new ways, on new frontiers.

While perhaps not all of this year’s events are framed by what I would consider truly iconic images, there are generally always pictures to serve as a visual reference and document the passing of time historically.

One picture that left a lasting impact on me was one from the earthquake in China. It’s actually a picture from the Sichuan earthquake that took place in August. Of all the pictures I looked at from the earthquake coverage, this one seemed to stand out while I was reading the news from straits times online which I'd like to share to all.
The picture shows a woman shielding a child, their bodies being unearthed in a fallen house by Chinese soldiers. The woman and child lie almost angelically in a red clay soil and the soldiers, dressed in red-clad camouflage carefully digging around them with their hands. The woman and child were apparently buried in falling debris inside a house during the quake.

I found the picture quite surreal really; it was almost like the soldiers were carefully unearthing a relic at archaeological site. I was touched by several elements of the pictures, the colour, the symmetry of the subjects and the message it conveyed. A woman shielding a child in harm’s way, only to end in vain was quite touching.

Let’s hope 2009 brings us on a happier note.

get over.

Okay, so he might slip into my dreams (or nightmares!) every once in a while. And I may still wonder how he's doing -- or if he's already got a new girl by his side. Well, how can I tell if I'm over and done with?

• I have no desire to kiss him just one last time.

• I'm ready to start doing the things I did before we got together. Doing yoga in the middle of the living room floor, having all-night gabfests with my girls...you know, the things that always drove him crazy. Good thing he's not around to whine about it!

• I've stopped checking his Myspace or Facebook profile -_-

• He's got a new girl on his arm, and all I can think is, "So what?" I've been that girl, and I know what she's in for. I've seen all of his emotional baggage -- heck, I even carried it around for a while -- and I don't envy her. She can have him!

• I wouldn't think twice about rekindling the love. No matter how much he begged, apologized or stood outside of my window in the rain blasting my favorite song while holding a radio over his head...I'm sooo done.

BUT,

• I still talk to my friends about him.

• I can't remember why we broke up (yeah right!). But I'm pretty sure it's forgivable.

Sheesh. I guess this is normal.

Okay, it's your turn to spill.

xoxo

rock out like a gossip girl!

As strong women, we're often in touch with what makes us unhappy and unsatisfied in life. I always believe we are born to this world for a purpose, be it for the better or for the worse.
Till right this precise moment, I do not understand how a single human can have so much hatred and jealousy in their hearts.

Well, perhaps I have an emotional range of a teaspoon.

the place where a star used to be.

What a huge mess it turned out to be. I've always thought I was the only one feeling it, and thank GOD am not. It's so frustrating. ALL of these are unnecessary and uncalled for. Things had been going on well before. *sighs

I've been putting up alot, and I can only take in so much. I'm dreading work. And it sucks, big time. I love my job. Frankly, I do not know how long more I can endure the shits.

The greater the power, the greater the responsibilities are.

Its another challenge, I guess.

-_-

On another note.

I understand the allure: You're combing through junk mail and suddenly you're pre-approved. Imagine that -- I'm ... approved! The next thing I know I'm $hundreds in the hole and wondering how the heck I got there. It can be super tempting to apply for all those store credit cards with their promises of discounted swag. In an ideal world, I wouldn't carry any cards. In reality, one is definitely enough.

I've been lax about my payments. I've gotta stay on top of it before I get blasted. And taking cash advances, the interest rates are sky high and service fees are tacked on -- it's basically one big mess!

I need to stop spending and start saving. This will be my NY resolution, hopefully.

solitude, singing a lullaby.

Away.

Run away.

Running away.
I am unable to decipher much emotions right now. All I want to do is run and not look back. Scream, till my voice go hoarse.

I hope, and reverently hope.

And hope.

And endlessly hope.

Only to have my hopes thwarted. Only to see the futility of it. Only to stop short and fall flat on my face. Only to welcome nothing but confounding disappointment with open arms. Apparently, I should be relatively immune to this by now. The heart quails from the disillusionment.

The heart and the mind exhange quick and deadly parries. Yet the heart always emerge victorious, though not unscathed. And so the vicious cycle continues. I've resigned myself to the perpetual need to hope.

I'm letting the chips fall where it may.

-_-

And now.

Lo and behold.

Looking forward to 2009.

X

The tsunami of jumbled and asinine thoughts crashing in my head. The incapability to control my emotions. I sense the sweeping grand entrance of the infamous PMS looming ahead.

X

You'd Answer Me, The Night Is Wonderful.

True love is felonious. You take someone's breath away. You rob them of the ability to utter a single a word. You steal a heart. Any judge would toss that case out on its ass. You'd be surprised. Once you're in, its for life.

I have always been eminently curious. If you listen to enough infomercials you start to believe some crazy things: Brazilian honey can be used for leg wax, that knives can cut metal, that the power of positive thinking can work like a pair of wings to get you what you need to be. Thanks to a little bout of insomnia and way too many doses of NJPPK, I decided one day to force myself into imagining what it would be like after marriage. That way, when it happened, I'd be ready.

I kept at it for weeks. It is harder than you think to keep yourself in the future. My way of dealing this was to pretend I am already married. It could be to my current boyfriend, or to any blank face I see myself with. Bottom line, its pretense. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what I am or am not supposed to think about. It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if I really try to figure out who I am in the future, I'm not going to like who I see.

It scares me, marriage. But it excites me at the same time. Well as for now, let live and breathe life. Aah .. the scent of life, how much more agreeable, laughing, praying, celestial and delicious it is. Nothing is more memorable, for life can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.

rock your ugly!

Are you brave enough to rock your ugly -- and to prove that different is beautiful? Labels may enhance your outlook, BUT hey Kiddo! it definitely does not beautify your personality. I'm the working adult here, and I know how hard money comes by. I admit I splurge on labels too, but occasionally.

Well babygirl, my lips are sealed, but let's just say "ugly" has ALWAYS been so beautiful. A piece of advice, be true to yourself, and you'll find life much more meaningful and worthwhile (:

quirky + different = beautiful!

rock MY ugly!

dark alley.

He tells you that you'll never be good enough or that you'll never amount to anything. He calls you names, criticizes your body or says that you're stupid. And he makes you question yourself and your value. Sound familiar? If these words, actions or circumstances are coming from the man you love -- whether he's your boyfriend, your father or another man in your life -- you may be the victim of emotional abuse.
Unlike physical or sexual abuse, there are no scars or physically painful acts that you can point to as harmful. But emotional abuse is just as painful, scarring and damaging to your self-esteem -- and you, in all your amazingness, deserve sooo much better.

Unfortunately, emotionally abusive relationships can leave you feeling powerless, even believing that he's right when he says you're not a valuable, good person.
But the most important thing you can do is realize your worth -- allow yourself the right to live in an environment where your worth is acknowledged and respected. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

And deciding that you don't deserve this kind of relationship is the hardest part, believe me. But once you do decide to recognize your fabulousness and get help, just know that there IS support.

That step will be all the more easy if you reach out for help and support. True friends will always be there when you need them.

dang it!

I know its been awhile since I last updated this blog. Hell, I've been too busy what not with work! Blearghh -_-
I love my job, I really do. I guess its just the pressure (and the bitchyness of the office environment) that's putting me down. Excitement touched with a mingling sadness. How utterly perplexing!
Anyhoos! On a happier note, I should be looking forward to this weekend (: 4 days OFF!! Parties and girlfriends meet up coming up (:

X

To God-bless-your-pitiful-life,

I'm not like you. I won't bother being one of you. I'd question my sanity if I do. With enough noise/bickering production to attract people's attention in that infamously annoying way. Betcha didn't know that, looking at how truly PLASTIC you actually are.

The difference between me and you?

I'm not power hungry. Neither do I need to gain cheap popularity. It's skanks like you that concretes people's stereotypes about 'Malays with Power'.

You're itching to pick on me? Say it to my face. Not when my back's turned.

Then you'll get your fight.

Biatch.

amor'

Droplets of tear-shaped diamonds fall from the sky.
A benign smile gracefully offered to parched lands.
A beautiful sight for the eyes and senses to behold.
Yet the heart does not partake the same luxury.
Sorrowful consciousness resides in the heart.
Of hopes longed to be fulfilled.
Of words longed to be made good of.
Yet the adamant heart refuses to yield.
To admit the grave fact that illusions exists.
The mind tells the heart to desist.
The heart rejects the pleas.
It believes love is the answer.
Love hurts, love heals.
The skies, my eyes.
The rain, my tears.
The sorrow and hurt my love.
The heals and hopes, my heart.

un-wired

The worst week I've had yet. I can't remember any worse week. I've
been sick for the whole of my KL trip. Fever just won't subside and I slept like a log in my nice,cosy hotel room. Bummed ):

On a lighter note, my health is slowly picking up again. I'm glad. The after effects of the recent emotional manifestation left its mark and still lingers, though I know it will dissappear soon enough when replaced with happier tidings.

And I got myself a new COACH bag!! (:

Ryn's 21st.

Shazzy Love's 21st Birthday @ Cuba Libre.

shmuck.

I'm going to bitch and be a bitch right now.

I happened to be blog-hopping when i "hopped" across this blog. Belonged to a teenager amidst of adolescence. I figured 16 or something. Okay, the blog was all cheerful colours and happy pictures but when I got down to the reading, I lost all respect for the blogger.

I was reading about two teenagers in the throes of foreplay which eventually led to sex.
If you're an avid reader of romance novels or a romance novelist, the whole scene should be all sensual, windows-fogged, temperatures-running-high-beyond-belief-but-i-don't-care, mind-blowing, bed of roses kinda thing with powerful descriptions that leaves much to the imagination to run amok and wreck havoc with your senses, leaving you wilth a little short of breath and certain parts of your anatomy tingling and tightening, right up to the climax. Figuratively and literally. hehe.

But what I just read? I was unequivocally appaled and turned quite green with revulsion.
It was about two teenagers having a go at it, and the girl was proud she was able to make her 'boy steam'. They sneaked into his house to cop a feel of what's hidden beneath the clothes.

Amazingly, with, in my opinion, feigned dignity, she let readers know that what they just did was 'memotek'. The whole post was a step-by-step account of what they did. I feel like I was watching a sex scene out of a C-grade movie.

At that part, I couldn't help but laugh. Who the hell use those words anymore? You know, i WOULD understand that you're a teenager and that you're trying to venture into new "frontiers". Everyone, no matter how innocent or pure they are or made out to be, would have thought of physical pleasures running through their minds. Its the height of testosterone and hormonal imbalance during adoloscence, I know.

But did she have to air her DETAILED dirty laundry to all and sundry?
Yes, you can have sex. Go at it like rabbits for all i care. But for this touchy topic, there's a certain code of etiqutte and decorum that needs to be adhered to or you'll end up looking like a sex maniac or a tramp. Don't try to write down blow-by-blow (figuratively,ah!) account of your sexual escapades if you don't have the talent to make it seem tasteful. If its done tastefully, I'll give you two thumbs up after reading it.

You're young, but with true dignity, you should know what to put up in a blog or what not to. At your age, you're given the choice of using your brain for discretion.

Reading what I read left me with low opinions of her intellect and moral values.
I wonder what she'll be when she grows up.

Rather still, in real life, we still do have girls jumping at the very chance to detail-discuss their sex life to the whole world. Believe it or not, its actually happening even in my own office. And the'll go ah! wow! oooh! *Disgust!

*I'm still shuddering wondering if I should puke*

Sheesh.

loves and loved.

I'm smiling blissfully.
My entire being is endlessly radiating with happiness and love (:

X

A shout-out to my dearest chicas, Lat,Erin,Didi,Lyn,Jennifer,Nora,Shariffah etc ..
Thank you sooo much for your ceaseless advise and comfort. You guys helped me get through this difficult ordeal. Soothing me when I'm at the very point of bursting. Sparing a little time to just hear me spew my emotions. I'll treasure ya'll and ya'll always have a precious treasure cove in my very heart.

On a much happier note,

to my babylove,

PS: I love you more than I can ever imagine myself capable of loving, my hero (:

X

that pot of gold across the rainbow.

I've had 3 days of heluva! in a row at work. And right this moment i just feel like crashing, swear and cuss the sky blue! QUICK,come tuesday PLEASE!! am so in need of that holiday/retail theraphy. pfft!

loooo-king forward (:

stronger.

"In life, we have to make decissions that aren't easy, we're afraid that whatever choice we make will upset someone. It is at these times that we need to stop and listen to the voice inside us. If we listen to the wishes of those around us and ignore our own feelings, we will not be truly happy. Listen to what you know is right and stand by that, cos when when we do, we'll be happy".

low life part 2

Pride is the lofty view of one's self or one's own. According to Augustine, it is "the love of one's own excellence." The opposite of pride is humility.

Pride is sometimes viewed as excessive or as a vice, sometimes as proper or as a virtue. While some philosophies consider pride a profound virtue, most world religions consider it a sin.

When viewed as a virtue, pride in one's appearance and abilities is known as virtuous pride, greatness of soul or magnanimity, but when viewed as a vice it is often termed vanity or vainglory. Pride can also manifest itself as a high opinion of one's self.

Liar.

low life.

I play to WIN.

you paint my grey sky blue (:

"Is there such thing as happily ever after?"

No,there is something infinitely better than happily ever after.

There is happiness.

Happiness is a living,dynamic thingand has to be worked on every moment for the rest of our lives. Its a far more exciting prospect than that silly idea of happily ever after. Wouldn't you agree?

plastic.

hell's bells. We live amongst people who have too much self-confidence than they can handle. Peolpe are absolutely presumptuous,thinking that they're better than everyone else. Where in the world they managed to conjure such egocentricity,I have no idea.

With logical deduction,there are a few reasons why this kinda sad and sorry souls exist in our world.

They put up a facade for themselves,letting others perceive that they are so perfect,yet on the very surface lies a crack. Beneath that facade lies a person living in constant fear of rejection and criticism. And that crack is susceptible to vast damage even with the slightest of knocks. Once that crack enlarges and breaks the facade whole, all hell breaks loose! They lash out at anyone who conveniently (for the enraged) at the right place at the right time. Lashing out gives them comfort that they have the power to change or to distort something. It makes them feel that they're better than the rest and their self-confidence is restored.

Some people are like accidents of nature at birth. Its like a personality defect that aggravates the way a person thinks something over time. They're just evil by nature. They could have been born to parents who are prime candidates for sainthood but their nature doesn't allow them to follow their parent's footsteps.

Sadly too,these people do not know the definition of appreciate.

Most importantly,I'm only human,not a candidate for sainthood.

Am I ashamed of myself? I ought to be. Contradictorily, I am proud of myself . To be able to acknowledge my flaws and not worrying about others noticing it.

I don't give a flying fuck to the latter either.

But know this. I don't grovel at people's feet and be fake. And I can live with that.

You'd Answer Me, The Night Is Wonderful.

True love is felonious. You take someone's breath away. You rob them of the ability to utter a single a word. You steal a heart. Any judge would toss that case out on its ass. You'd be surprised. Once you're in, its for life.

I have always been eminently curious. If you listen to enough infomercials you start to believe some crazy things: Brazilian honey can be used for leg wax, that knives can cut metal, that the power of positive thinking can work like a pair of wings to get you what you need to be. Thanks to a little bout of insomnia and way too many doses of NJPPK, I decided one day to force myself into imagining what it would be like after marriage. That way, when it happened, I'd be ready.

I kept at it for weeks. It is harder than you think to keep yourself in the future. My way of dealing this was to pretend I am already married. It could be to my current boyfriend, or to any blank face I see myself with. Bottom line, its pretense. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what I am or am not supposed to think about. It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if I really try to figure out who I am in the future, I'm not going to like who I see.

It scares me, marriage. But it excites me at the same time. Well as for now, let live and breathe life. Aah .. the scent of life, how much more agreeable, laughing, praying, celestial and delicious it is. Nothing is more memorable, for life can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.

hell, jyeah!

MEAN girls.

There is nothing worse in LIFE when you find out your friends are gossiping about you. With so many celebrity gossip sites out there, we're all accustomed to hyper-analyzing every detail of other people's behavior, outfits and lifestyles -- so why wouldn't that leak into our relationships with people we actually know? We all gossip with our friends, but what happens when that's turned back around on you?

Many times, my first instinct is to do the same thing. "That liar! Do you know she..." If I start telling my own tales, the whole situation just snowball out of control and i'll have several fires to put out rather than just one. Therefore, I'm resisting the urge to retaliate.
Rumors? What Rumors?Ignoring the situation is the most silent and deadliest of weapons. Rolling my eyes and going with the flow is a way to show how immature the gossiper actually is. When people are saying something completely untrue, no doubt their main objective is to get a rise out of me. They didn't, I've won and they've failed :)

"imma take the high road and roll my eyes cos imma girl too cool for drama"

pitiful.

** yours truly **

the poet in her solitude.

What is more important to the history of the world -- the Talban or the collapse of the Soviet empire? A few agitated Muslims or the liberation of Central Europe and the end of the Cold War?

xxxx

i was uber bored today.
Met Nini at 9am to do up my hair but we ended up having breakfast and gossip sessions. Its been way too long since I last met her. Well I ended up doing nothing to my hair due to the extensions,but oh well! i'm happy i got to catch up with Nini.
After that went home and did some house chores. All was done by 1pm and this was when the laziness crept me and brought me to bed,watchin re-runs of movies and season 3 of Heroes (thanks to Rama!) :)

bummed! :(

I need my holiday NOW!!!

drain-ed

It’s never a good thing to set hopes on someone/something.
Because when it doesn’t go the way you want it to, you experience an ugly emotion.
That sheer disappointment.
It’s something that sends your hopes plummeting all the way to the balls of your feet.
If it could go all the way to the depths of the earth, it would.
Rendering all thoughts of letting your fragile little heart to hope again.
You’re acutely aware of it.
Yet you can do nothing.
But to hope again.

Okay, no more depressing, morbid posts.

All minute matters when added together become a huge thing that would need Herculean strength of mind and heart to overcome it.
All the pressure is doing me in.
Slowly, little by little, it’ll eat up my willpower and sap my determination to overcome the shits that’s happening.
I’m being unfair to those around me, those who care for me, those who love me.
But deep down in the dark recess of my heart, I just feel like giving up.
Completely.

Something has been bugging me for quite sometime.
I’m going through a phase of critical thinking and identity crisis.
I’ve been asking myself many questions of late.
Have I been the best daughter that I could be?
Have I been the best sister that I could be?
Have I been the best girlfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best bestfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best supervisor that I could be?
Have i?
It’s been eating me up whole.
I’m so enraptured in living my life to the fullest.
Doing as many things humanly as possible in a day. To ensure that time doesn’t trickle wastefully by without spending it fruitfully, in my definition. But as I went along with living my life, I realized I’ve prioritized all the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong times.
I’m responsible for putting myself where I’m at now. I have to be. I know I must be.
Life is a bitch. It takes so little to make a mistake. It takes so much to rectify it.

DRA-MAA QUEEN.

I hate to say that I'm obligated to anyone. It isn't that I'm unappreciative, Hell NO! I'm grateful yes,to everything that has been done for me but where is the respect?
oh yeah at times we do have fun together and stuffs doing what girls normally do. But your attitude towards not only me but other friends whom you so called cherish is definitely blearghh!!
My assumptions were definitely wrong about you. I thought after the "heart to heart" convo, finally you've awaken but it seems likewise. Its a pity that you've tarnished the childhood memories we had together.
And I thought now that we're adults the understanding between each other deepens. Whats with the comparison of each others lives? You should be happy for one another achievements, not compare! And so I question myself, WHAT are true friends? Yes,what. Not who. It has never crossed my mind to discriminate the way you live your life or worse, to compare who's better than who. Where the hell has the bond gone to? WHAT made you changed? Is it jealousy? Or you're just being a plain minah? HAHA.
I'm to-tally dissappointed,honestly. Seeing the way things are between us brings tears to my eyes. I thought I understand you. I've always been there whenever you needed me. Here I guess you can never trust anyone wholeheartedly in life. Friends may backstab you,anytime. Out of spite,out of jealousy.
But nahhh ~~
my life's too beautiful for any spite and vileness .. :)
and i don't give a fug. i don't owe anyone any living.

sunkisses & raindrops!

Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.
Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.
Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

Right now, I'm missing two of the most important people in my life, Erin and Lat. :(
Erin has been away to Dubai for almost 6 months now. Though Lat's still here, we haven't been spending much time together due to our hectic schedules. GOD! How I miss them both so so much!! There's so much to update and talk about.
I especially miss the late night coffee and supper sessions,the crazy party nights,impulsive shopping sprees and mostly, our holidays together. Sometimes I get so bored to death without this two women!
Its different sometimes when your heart yearns for the companionship of my beautiful bebots! Am counting down the days to dec 29th when Erin's coming back. and hopefully she'll be able to make it for our upcoming trip to Bali! I'm sure we'll definitely have a blast :)
"I love you two chicas!"
xoxo

i am.

I am always thinking about my ideal situation and dreaming of ways to get there. Whether I do or not is less important than keeping the dreams alive.
I have always been an ambitious person ever since I was just a kid. I guess that has helped me to bring where I am now.
The waters of life flow, like ideas coming from my unrestrained mind.Concepts and ideas interest me. Because of my universality, I can seem somewhat detached from personal emotions. It's not that I don't have feelings; it's just that mine is different from most others. I dance to the beat of a different drummer.My life motto could be Einstein's "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." And mine is a great spirit, sometimes erratic and sometimes brilliant. I know much about myself and the world, but knowing everything can be an obstacle to my own happiness.I am a thinker.I emphasize the intellect over other functions.I can be light and breezy as the breath of spring, but my words can also carry the power of a gale force wind.I can be like the winds after a lightning strike. Large amounts of air are moved around suddenly in such a storm, and that which survives this intensity gets to enjoy the calm after the storm.I symbolize the eccentric and unique things in my life. It is associated with brilliance -- even if short-lived.And, like lightning, I release the hidden tensions suddenly and with great immediacy. In fact, I rebel against social injustices and seek freedom of expression in my life.
This is me. Welcome to my life.

dwell dreams

3 years has passed since the initial embarkation of my career. I'm so proud of myself! Through my HARD WORK and PERSEVERANCE, i am finally on top.
NO,not by sucking balls you dickheads! Yes, it saddens me how narrow minded people can be at times. Or perhaps they're just sore losers. Competiton is all around especially in the airline indusrty. You'll see girls bitching at one another just to get themselves noticed by others. When the management are around only will they be showing to the world that THEY and only THEY are working.
BUT,this path does not stops here! Now its time I start climbing a new mountain and prove to myself that I can be much more than who I actually am. Who knows, 5 years down the road I'll be the next manager!
Maybe I'm focusing too much on my career? But i've to be realistic. At these times, women are advancing more than men! And with the high cost of living here,people are barely surviving. And this brings us to an important goal I have and want to achieve. I've always wanted to adopt a child, perhaps from Africa,Russia or any third world country kids that deserves the happiness that they should get. I wanna pamper them like how I pamper myself or my siblings, give them an education. Simply said,provide a roof on top of their heads. Observing the kids here, how rude and unappreciative they are disgusts me! Yes you've been provided well but hey! where is your respect to other fellow human beings??!! pfft!
One thing I know, where I am today has proved an example to my younger siblings that they too can be someone succesful. I'm so proud of their results!
And I couldn't ask for more :)