True love is felonious. You take someone's breath away. You rob them of the ability to utter a single a word. You steal a heart. Any judge would toss that case out on its ass. You'd be surprised. Once you're in, its for life.
I have always been eminently curious. If you listen to enough infomercials you start to believe some crazy things: Brazilian honey can be used for leg wax, that knives can cut metal, that the power of positive thinking can work like a pair of wings to get you what you need to be. Thanks to a little bout of insomnia and way too many doses of NJPPK, I decided one day to force myself into imagining what it would be like after marriage. That way, when it happened, I'd be ready.
I kept at it for weeks. It is harder than you think to keep yourself in the future. My way of dealing this was to pretend I am already married. It could be to my current boyfriend, or to any blank face I see myself with. Bottom line, its pretense. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what I am or am not supposed to think about. It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if I really try to figure out who I am in the future, I'm not going to like who I see.
It scares me, marriage. But it excites me at the same time. Well as for now, let live and breathe life. Aah .. the scent of life, how much more agreeable, laughing, praying, celestial and delicious it is. Nothing is more memorable, for life can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.
No comments:
Post a Comment