scumbags.

Every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning everything will be made clean again and even the most troubling stains would have disappeared like the doubts over his innocence or the consequence of his mistake, like the scars of his betrayal or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass, hoping for the best even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible nothing can wash them away.

What goes around comes around. Why do we still stand up for people who don't even give a fuck about us? Why do we do everything in our power to make them feel better when they did nothing but give us pain? Why do we care for people who only care for themselves? Why do we change ourselves for people when they are the ones who need to change? Why do we bother for people who are so self-centered, that the only person they could ever love is themselves?

Tears sometimes flow endlessly like the oldest of waterfalls.

I need strength.

I need courage.

I need faith.

I need hope.

GOD is GREAT.

Jessica Mauboy - Running Back

These days you barely even say my name, like you don't really feel the same

I'm wondering whats to blame, these nights i fall asleep wondering where you are

It feels like we're falling apart

And its only breaking my heart

Cause if being with you means being alone, and never knowing when you're coming home

Then i guess im better off on my own

But i cant move on

Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we've had

Instead i keep coming, keep coming, i keep running back

Cause i keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad

So i keep on coming, keep coming, i keep running back

My friends say that i should leave you behind, and stop wasting all my time

They tell me that i am out of my mind

But i know that what we both share is real, and i've been willing to deal

With the way that you're making me feel

Ma ma ma mama caught up

We done all heard the same story

Just different authors this book crazy

Always a lady looking for love where there's a lame

They might could be together

They fight to be together

Aight to be together Shorty yeah he cheated

You say you don't need it, turn around and leave it

Oh he back next week

Fuss...Fight And then the whole thing repeat like nothing ever happened

No publishing Shorty you knew that he don't got the same government

Lil mama can't move on

But it's her fault she struggling

She can't...move...on

Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we've had

Insted I keep coming, keep coming,I keep coming back

remember me.

1. Everyone feels like everyone else, just not at the same time
2. People are unpredictable
3. Letting go is better than maintaining control
4. Absolutely nothing good can come out of overthinking things

already gone.

We can fall a million times and still not learn. We can almost drown but still we don't avoid dangerous waters. We get hurt but we still rush headlong towards the person that is the source of pain. Won't we ever learn? We all wanna be happy but to what extent do we owe our happiness to? Is it calculated by the number of times we get hurt plus the number of times our hearts get trampled on and then divided by the number of times we held our hopes high in the hopes that it will get better multiplied by the number of times that it does get better? Is that the recipe for happiness? Or is that the recipe for disaster?

You tell me.

Maybe being happy is not about having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe its about stringing together all the little things , making them count more than the bad stuff. Or maybe we just get through it, and that's all that we can ask for.

I want to put together all the little things, the imperfect things.

keep the faith, my friend.

I've seen the lightning flashing
Heard the thunder roll
I feel the cold winds blowing
Trying to conquer my soul

If I just hold my peace, let God fight my battles. If I can keep the faith through the night.
I hear the voice of reason telling me to fight on. Cos' I come to know I've come too far to turn around.

Weeping may endure for a night
But joy is gonna come tomorrow
Though I go through the fire
I shall come out as pure gold

When problems come just keep the faith. It won't be long until the day things will turn around if you just stand your ground.

Its Not Always Rainbows And Butterflies.

When will these kind of people ever learn? It's fair enough to say that people make mistakes. Once is understandable, but if you do it more than once?It's called stupidity. Plain and simple. Telling you to grow up will just be a waste of my time because seeing as how at your age, you still have yet to reach that level of maturity that is usually associated with people who are within your age range? That is just sad. My deepest sympathy goes out to you, and your fellow comrades.

I just don't understand the deal with people who think that the world revolves around them. You keep thinking and over-analyzing on the words of others, worrying to death that they are talking about you when they probably aren't. Gosh, aren't you so full of yourself? And the irony is that, seeing as how you are so god damn full of yourself, you still aren't contented. Enjoy this state of delusion while you can, it won't be long till the fog clears up and you're left with absolutely nothing.

The lollipop shoes has taught me one thing. That thing that you thought had created a rift, is in fact the glue that binds. It just crossed boundaries, created bridges and all that hurt, just combined and brought you closer than you think you were. The act of separation was just like a rubber band, pulled tightly apart and when you let go, you snap right back where you started.

It's frustrating to know how some people are just so fucking oblivious to everything else but themselves. It's like living in a bubble, everything looks so nice and every thing's floating but you forget what happens if that bubble bursts and you fall flat on your stupid face. And I think you should fall flat on your stupid face. It's one thing to be oblivious, it's another thing to be delusional as well. I mean, come on. Could you get any stupider? But then again, you cannot possibly be any stupider than you already are right now because you are the epitome of Stupid. And that is not something to be proud about.

You are obviously no threat to me but your very existence just irks me. You think that everything revolves around you. Newsflash girl, the world revolves on its own axis, not around you. Now isn't that unnerving?

Don't generalize us and assume shit about us because that's as far as my limit goes. Cross that and you're dead. Better watch your back and your mouth aye? Or else you'll end up with your face on the floor faster than you can flutter your fake eyelashes.The day you were born into this world, you gave a face to the word of stupidity.

Maybe it's wise not to look up to the sky directly when the sun is right above your head. That glare just might cloud your vision to see the beautiful things clearly. Aye?

love lost

My friend and I were talking the other day about the famous quote “Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” My friend said she would rather have never loved, and I said I would rather have loved and lost. I told her in one of my best emo lines ever “I would rather have loved and lost, because to have never loved, would feel as if my life was incomplete.”

To love is an essential of life in my opinion. It seems all of life is about love, in one form or another. To go through life without love, would be to not live at all. If I never was to have a serious relationship, I would feel as if I was missing out on a vital part of life. Being deeply in love with someone, changes your life. It is dangerous to put your emotions on the line, with the possibility of ultimate failure and rejection, but if it is the one that you truly love, it makes it ultimately worthwhile. Even if my love was likely to fail, I would still pursue it, for that small sliver of hope I possessed. Even in death, love would make life worthwhile.

Loss is another essential of life. It is impossible to live life without the threat and experience of loss. Everyone has, in one form or another, experienced loss, some deeper than others. Everyone, at one time or another will experience loss, around them and on a personal level. Loss causes the heart to weep, but it’s an unavoidable part of life. Ultimately, to love means to lose, for even if you are together for all your life, one of you will still eventually die, leaving the other behind. Yet, loss is a matter of perspective. Have you truly lost, to live a life with love? Have you lost, to never take the risk of love?

So when I hear the quote “Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all” I think the writer of that, actually meant, to not have loved, would essentially be loss in the end, therefore it would be better to have loved and lost than to live life without love. Loss and love are two essentials of life, both are necessary for life and both cannot be had, without the other.

absolutely sickk.

i need a brreak.

4 MAY, come quick! I can already smell Patong beach!

i wanna dive in the Indian Ocean.

i wanna seafood everyy meal.

i wanna island hop, swim in the blue clear water with the fishes amongst coral reefs.

i wanna sleep and tan on the upper deck of the speedboat.

i wanna be free.

aand i said,

Sometimes belief is deliberate self-deceit.
You trick your mind into believing something.
And it doesn't even matter if the truth clearly defies it.

breaking point???

I'm emotionally,physically and mentaly drained!

Work has been hectic and for the first time ever I'm heavy hearted to work. Running away may seem like a cowardly thing to do, but sometimes we are left with no choice. Life gets so hard and unbearable that we keep facing the same things over and over again, regardless of how many times we've resolved it. It just keeps coming back to haunt us.

Running away doesn't necessarily mean that we're cowards but maybe we choose to run away because we're tired of going through the same motions everyday and not getting any further in life. The problems, the setbacks and the seemingly impossible challenges that we face, just seem too much, too mundane and too unbearable. That's when we decide we want a new lease of life. A chance to start anew. A clean slate. To go somewhere where no one knows us and how we were before we got there. A chance to rebuild ourselves and our lives.

Who could resist an opportunity like that? I know I couldn't. I just want to give myself a chance to prove to myself that I can get somewhere on my own, survive and succeed. I owe it that much to myself to at least try. If only money wasn't a problem, I would buy the first plane ticket out of here.

In this world where patience lacks,
I'm just trying to make everything closer to right.

faith.

My faith is here to stay,
If you believe in it every single day,
It's following me to my grave,
Everything's going to be okay,
Our hearts will be safe,
Believe in what I have to say,
For our hope is our shadow today.

The past has its fingernails stuck to our necks,
It hurts so much but we tell ourselves,
Don't look back,
Keep our minds set on the future,
Don't we go dare go off track.

Nobody told me a trail of regrets would follow as I was moving forward.

a wonderful journey (Swissport Singapore)

Life's not about setting boundaries. It's about pushing yourself to the utmost limits to see how well you can handle it, not how you break under the pressure. Most people run away from unfamiliarity, strange things and problems. It's human nature, you say. But I beg to differ. I think the most remarkable humans are the ones that stay on despite the sting of unfamiliarity. Despite the unknown, the instability and the pain of the hurt that is yet to come. Not content with just knowing what they can handle, but pushing themselves to venture into the unknown even if it might just hurt them. All the while knowing the consequences of their actions that might take a toll on their lives. Wrong decisions are made every single day by everyone of us.

We decide to quit when the going gets tough. We decide to run away whenever we get scared. We refuse to give other's a chance when all the while, we've been begging for one. We refuse to see the bigger picture for what it really is simply because we're scared of the truth. We're scared that we might see something we don't want to. We're scared that we might hear what we don't want to. Most of all, we're scared to have to face something that we don't have the answer or solution to.

Those who run along and face the unknown,they're what I would call remarkably brave.

If there's a crisis you don't freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse. And you know, we'll survive too.

Thank you for the wonderful memories. It has been a pleasurable journey (Feb 2006-Mar 2009).