un-wired

The worst week I've had yet. I can't remember any worse week. I've
been sick for the whole of my KL trip. Fever just won't subside and I slept like a log in my nice,cosy hotel room. Bummed ):

On a lighter note, my health is slowly picking up again. I'm glad. The after effects of the recent emotional manifestation left its mark and still lingers, though I know it will dissappear soon enough when replaced with happier tidings.

And I got myself a new COACH bag!! (:

Ryn's 21st.

Shazzy Love's 21st Birthday @ Cuba Libre.

shmuck.

I'm going to bitch and be a bitch right now.

I happened to be blog-hopping when i "hopped" across this blog. Belonged to a teenager amidst of adolescence. I figured 16 or something. Okay, the blog was all cheerful colours and happy pictures but when I got down to the reading, I lost all respect for the blogger.

I was reading about two teenagers in the throes of foreplay which eventually led to sex.
If you're an avid reader of romance novels or a romance novelist, the whole scene should be all sensual, windows-fogged, temperatures-running-high-beyond-belief-but-i-don't-care, mind-blowing, bed of roses kinda thing with powerful descriptions that leaves much to the imagination to run amok and wreck havoc with your senses, leaving you wilth a little short of breath and certain parts of your anatomy tingling and tightening, right up to the climax. Figuratively and literally. hehe.

But what I just read? I was unequivocally appaled and turned quite green with revulsion.
It was about two teenagers having a go at it, and the girl was proud she was able to make her 'boy steam'. They sneaked into his house to cop a feel of what's hidden beneath the clothes.

Amazingly, with, in my opinion, feigned dignity, she let readers know that what they just did was 'memotek'. The whole post was a step-by-step account of what they did. I feel like I was watching a sex scene out of a C-grade movie.

At that part, I couldn't help but laugh. Who the hell use those words anymore? You know, i WOULD understand that you're a teenager and that you're trying to venture into new "frontiers". Everyone, no matter how innocent or pure they are or made out to be, would have thought of physical pleasures running through their minds. Its the height of testosterone and hormonal imbalance during adoloscence, I know.

But did she have to air her DETAILED dirty laundry to all and sundry?
Yes, you can have sex. Go at it like rabbits for all i care. But for this touchy topic, there's a certain code of etiqutte and decorum that needs to be adhered to or you'll end up looking like a sex maniac or a tramp. Don't try to write down blow-by-blow (figuratively,ah!) account of your sexual escapades if you don't have the talent to make it seem tasteful. If its done tastefully, I'll give you two thumbs up after reading it.

You're young, but with true dignity, you should know what to put up in a blog or what not to. At your age, you're given the choice of using your brain for discretion.

Reading what I read left me with low opinions of her intellect and moral values.
I wonder what she'll be when she grows up.

Rather still, in real life, we still do have girls jumping at the very chance to detail-discuss their sex life to the whole world. Believe it or not, its actually happening even in my own office. And the'll go ah! wow! oooh! *Disgust!

*I'm still shuddering wondering if I should puke*

Sheesh.

loves and loved.

I'm smiling blissfully.
My entire being is endlessly radiating with happiness and love (:

X

A shout-out to my dearest chicas, Lat,Erin,Didi,Lyn,Jennifer,Nora,Shariffah etc ..
Thank you sooo much for your ceaseless advise and comfort. You guys helped me get through this difficult ordeal. Soothing me when I'm at the very point of bursting. Sparing a little time to just hear me spew my emotions. I'll treasure ya'll and ya'll always have a precious treasure cove in my very heart.

On a much happier note,

to my babylove,

PS: I love you more than I can ever imagine myself capable of loving, my hero (:

X

that pot of gold across the rainbow.

I've had 3 days of heluva! in a row at work. And right this moment i just feel like crashing, swear and cuss the sky blue! QUICK,come tuesday PLEASE!! am so in need of that holiday/retail theraphy. pfft!

loooo-king forward (:

stronger.

"In life, we have to make decissions that aren't easy, we're afraid that whatever choice we make will upset someone. It is at these times that we need to stop and listen to the voice inside us. If we listen to the wishes of those around us and ignore our own feelings, we will not be truly happy. Listen to what you know is right and stand by that, cos when when we do, we'll be happy".

low life part 2

Pride is the lofty view of one's self or one's own. According to Augustine, it is "the love of one's own excellence." The opposite of pride is humility.

Pride is sometimes viewed as excessive or as a vice, sometimes as proper or as a virtue. While some philosophies consider pride a profound virtue, most world religions consider it a sin.

When viewed as a virtue, pride in one's appearance and abilities is known as virtuous pride, greatness of soul or magnanimity, but when viewed as a vice it is often termed vanity or vainglory. Pride can also manifest itself as a high opinion of one's self.

Liar.

low life.

I play to WIN.

you paint my grey sky blue (:

"Is there such thing as happily ever after?"

No,there is something infinitely better than happily ever after.

There is happiness.

Happiness is a living,dynamic thingand has to be worked on every moment for the rest of our lives. Its a far more exciting prospect than that silly idea of happily ever after. Wouldn't you agree?

plastic.

hell's bells. We live amongst people who have too much self-confidence than they can handle. Peolpe are absolutely presumptuous,thinking that they're better than everyone else. Where in the world they managed to conjure such egocentricity,I have no idea.

With logical deduction,there are a few reasons why this kinda sad and sorry souls exist in our world.

They put up a facade for themselves,letting others perceive that they are so perfect,yet on the very surface lies a crack. Beneath that facade lies a person living in constant fear of rejection and criticism. And that crack is susceptible to vast damage even with the slightest of knocks. Once that crack enlarges and breaks the facade whole, all hell breaks loose! They lash out at anyone who conveniently (for the enraged) at the right place at the right time. Lashing out gives them comfort that they have the power to change or to distort something. It makes them feel that they're better than the rest and their self-confidence is restored.

Some people are like accidents of nature at birth. Its like a personality defect that aggravates the way a person thinks something over time. They're just evil by nature. They could have been born to parents who are prime candidates for sainthood but their nature doesn't allow them to follow their parent's footsteps.

Sadly too,these people do not know the definition of appreciate.

Most importantly,I'm only human,not a candidate for sainthood.

Am I ashamed of myself? I ought to be. Contradictorily, I am proud of myself . To be able to acknowledge my flaws and not worrying about others noticing it.

I don't give a flying fuck to the latter either.

But know this. I don't grovel at people's feet and be fake. And I can live with that.

You'd Answer Me, The Night Is Wonderful.

True love is felonious. You take someone's breath away. You rob them of the ability to utter a single a word. You steal a heart. Any judge would toss that case out on its ass. You'd be surprised. Once you're in, its for life.

I have always been eminently curious. If you listen to enough infomercials you start to believe some crazy things: Brazilian honey can be used for leg wax, that knives can cut metal, that the power of positive thinking can work like a pair of wings to get you what you need to be. Thanks to a little bout of insomnia and way too many doses of NJPPK, I decided one day to force myself into imagining what it would be like after marriage. That way, when it happened, I'd be ready.

I kept at it for weeks. It is harder than you think to keep yourself in the future. My way of dealing this was to pretend I am already married. It could be to my current boyfriend, or to any blank face I see myself with. Bottom line, its pretense. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what I am or am not supposed to think about. It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if I really try to figure out who I am in the future, I'm not going to like who I see.

It scares me, marriage. But it excites me at the same time. Well as for now, let live and breathe life. Aah .. the scent of life, how much more agreeable, laughing, praying, celestial and delicious it is. Nothing is more memorable, for life can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.

hell, jyeah!

MEAN girls.

There is nothing worse in LIFE when you find out your friends are gossiping about you. With so many celebrity gossip sites out there, we're all accustomed to hyper-analyzing every detail of other people's behavior, outfits and lifestyles -- so why wouldn't that leak into our relationships with people we actually know? We all gossip with our friends, but what happens when that's turned back around on you?

Many times, my first instinct is to do the same thing. "That liar! Do you know she..." If I start telling my own tales, the whole situation just snowball out of control and i'll have several fires to put out rather than just one. Therefore, I'm resisting the urge to retaliate.
Rumors? What Rumors?Ignoring the situation is the most silent and deadliest of weapons. Rolling my eyes and going with the flow is a way to show how immature the gossiper actually is. When people are saying something completely untrue, no doubt their main objective is to get a rise out of me. They didn't, I've won and they've failed :)

"imma take the high road and roll my eyes cos imma girl too cool for drama"

pitiful.

** yours truly **

the poet in her solitude.

What is more important to the history of the world -- the Talban or the collapse of the Soviet empire? A few agitated Muslims or the liberation of Central Europe and the end of the Cold War?

xxxx

i was uber bored today.
Met Nini at 9am to do up my hair but we ended up having breakfast and gossip sessions. Its been way too long since I last met her. Well I ended up doing nothing to my hair due to the extensions,but oh well! i'm happy i got to catch up with Nini.
After that went home and did some house chores. All was done by 1pm and this was when the laziness crept me and brought me to bed,watchin re-runs of movies and season 3 of Heroes (thanks to Rama!) :)

bummed! :(

I need my holiday NOW!!!

drain-ed

It’s never a good thing to set hopes on someone/something.
Because when it doesn’t go the way you want it to, you experience an ugly emotion.
That sheer disappointment.
It’s something that sends your hopes plummeting all the way to the balls of your feet.
If it could go all the way to the depths of the earth, it would.
Rendering all thoughts of letting your fragile little heart to hope again.
You’re acutely aware of it.
Yet you can do nothing.
But to hope again.

Okay, no more depressing, morbid posts.

All minute matters when added together become a huge thing that would need Herculean strength of mind and heart to overcome it.
All the pressure is doing me in.
Slowly, little by little, it’ll eat up my willpower and sap my determination to overcome the shits that’s happening.
I’m being unfair to those around me, those who care for me, those who love me.
But deep down in the dark recess of my heart, I just feel like giving up.
Completely.

Something has been bugging me for quite sometime.
I’m going through a phase of critical thinking and identity crisis.
I’ve been asking myself many questions of late.
Have I been the best daughter that I could be?
Have I been the best sister that I could be?
Have I been the best girlfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best bestfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best supervisor that I could be?
Have i?
It’s been eating me up whole.
I’m so enraptured in living my life to the fullest.
Doing as many things humanly as possible in a day. To ensure that time doesn’t trickle wastefully by without spending it fruitfully, in my definition. But as I went along with living my life, I realized I’ve prioritized all the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong times.
I’m responsible for putting myself where I’m at now. I have to be. I know I must be.
Life is a bitch. It takes so little to make a mistake. It takes so much to rectify it.

DRA-MAA QUEEN.

I hate to say that I'm obligated to anyone. It isn't that I'm unappreciative, Hell NO! I'm grateful yes,to everything that has been done for me but where is the respect?
oh yeah at times we do have fun together and stuffs doing what girls normally do. But your attitude towards not only me but other friends whom you so called cherish is definitely blearghh!!
My assumptions were definitely wrong about you. I thought after the "heart to heart" convo, finally you've awaken but it seems likewise. Its a pity that you've tarnished the childhood memories we had together.
And I thought now that we're adults the understanding between each other deepens. Whats with the comparison of each others lives? You should be happy for one another achievements, not compare! And so I question myself, WHAT are true friends? Yes,what. Not who. It has never crossed my mind to discriminate the way you live your life or worse, to compare who's better than who. Where the hell has the bond gone to? WHAT made you changed? Is it jealousy? Or you're just being a plain minah? HAHA.
I'm to-tally dissappointed,honestly. Seeing the way things are between us brings tears to my eyes. I thought I understand you. I've always been there whenever you needed me. Here I guess you can never trust anyone wholeheartedly in life. Friends may backstab you,anytime. Out of spite,out of jealousy.
But nahhh ~~
my life's too beautiful for any spite and vileness .. :)
and i don't give a fug. i don't owe anyone any living.

sunkisses & raindrops!

Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.
Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.
Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

Right now, I'm missing two of the most important people in my life, Erin and Lat. :(
Erin has been away to Dubai for almost 6 months now. Though Lat's still here, we haven't been spending much time together due to our hectic schedules. GOD! How I miss them both so so much!! There's so much to update and talk about.
I especially miss the late night coffee and supper sessions,the crazy party nights,impulsive shopping sprees and mostly, our holidays together. Sometimes I get so bored to death without this two women!
Its different sometimes when your heart yearns for the companionship of my beautiful bebots! Am counting down the days to dec 29th when Erin's coming back. and hopefully she'll be able to make it for our upcoming trip to Bali! I'm sure we'll definitely have a blast :)
"I love you two chicas!"
xoxo