what's left?

Can I ask you a question please

Promise you won't laugh at me

Honestly I'm standing here

Afraid I'll be betrayed.

As twisted as it seems, I only fear love when it's in my dreams

So let in the morning light and let the darkness fade away

I find myself preferring to look through the viewfinder to look at life. Somehow, it looks so much more beautiful through a viewfinder than when you look at it with the naked eye.In a way, it's like I'm using a camera as a shield. Hiding behind it. To prevent myself from seeing things that I don't really wanna see. Hence, I focus on the beautiful things that I can capture instead.

I wish for a better day tomorrow, and for everyone else.

I wish I would find success and fulfillment in my career. I wish to spend everyday meaningfully, with the people I love, doing things that I love and living life to the fullest. I wish to occupy my weekdays with work and my hobbies and I wish to spend my weekends for that much needed rest before a new week begins again. I wish to look forward to every start of the week just as much as I look forward to the end of it.

I wish to spend my time doing things that make me happy,contented and loving life so that there is no space for negativity and sadness. I wish to stop dwelling on the past, of what could have beens and what should have beens and move on happily. I wish to put every bad thing that I've been through behind me and let karma run its course. I wish to really believe that everything happens for a reason and that whatever I went through, has a silver lining to it, despite the outcome.

I wish to be so happy that when I eventually look back to my past, I will smile and be glad that it was all over. I wish to be so contented with my present that I know my future will be better and that my past will not repeat itself. I wish to be so thankful with my present that the past will no longer haunt me. I wish to learn from my mistakes and learn to trust and listen to my instincts. I wish to protect myself better and not be too believing. I wish to develop myself in mind,body and spirit for the better. I wish to grow from all of this and become the better and stronger person. I know I owe it to myself that much.

But after everything, I'm suddenly void of feelings.

Whats's happening?

Is it time yet?

ps: again, I'm calculatng what's left in me