You'd Answer Me, The Night Is Wonderful.

True love is felonious. You take someone's breath away. You rob them of the ability to utter a single a word. You steal a heart. Any judge would toss that case out on its ass. You'd be surprised. Once you're in, its for life.

I have always been eminently curious. If you listen to enough infomercials you start to believe some crazy things: Brazilian honey can be used for leg wax, that knives can cut metal, that the power of positive thinking can work like a pair of wings to get you what you need to be. Thanks to a little bout of insomnia and way too many doses of NJPPK, I decided one day to force myself into imagining what it would be like after marriage. That way, when it happened, I'd be ready.

I kept at it for weeks. It is harder than you think to keep yourself in the future. My way of dealing this was to pretend I am already married. It could be to my current boyfriend, or to any blank face I see myself with. Bottom line, its pretense. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what I am or am not supposed to think about. It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if I really try to figure out who I am in the future, I'm not going to like who I see.

It scares me, marriage. But it excites me at the same time. Well as for now, let live and breathe life. Aah .. the scent of life, how much more agreeable, laughing, praying, celestial and delicious it is. Nothing is more memorable, for life can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.

hell, jyeah!

MEAN girls.

There is nothing worse in LIFE when you find out your friends are gossiping about you. With so many celebrity gossip sites out there, we're all accustomed to hyper-analyzing every detail of other people's behavior, outfits and lifestyles -- so why wouldn't that leak into our relationships with people we actually know? We all gossip with our friends, but what happens when that's turned back around on you?

Many times, my first instinct is to do the same thing. "That liar! Do you know she..." If I start telling my own tales, the whole situation just snowball out of control and i'll have several fires to put out rather than just one. Therefore, I'm resisting the urge to retaliate.
Rumors? What Rumors?Ignoring the situation is the most silent and deadliest of weapons. Rolling my eyes and going with the flow is a way to show how immature the gossiper actually is. When people are saying something completely untrue, no doubt their main objective is to get a rise out of me. They didn't, I've won and they've failed :)

"imma take the high road and roll my eyes cos imma girl too cool for drama"

pitiful.

** yours truly **

the poet in her solitude.

What is more important to the history of the world -- the Talban or the collapse of the Soviet empire? A few agitated Muslims or the liberation of Central Europe and the end of the Cold War?

xxxx

i was uber bored today.
Met Nini at 9am to do up my hair but we ended up having breakfast and gossip sessions. Its been way too long since I last met her. Well I ended up doing nothing to my hair due to the extensions,but oh well! i'm happy i got to catch up with Nini.
After that went home and did some house chores. All was done by 1pm and this was when the laziness crept me and brought me to bed,watchin re-runs of movies and season 3 of Heroes (thanks to Rama!) :)

bummed! :(

I need my holiday NOW!!!

drain-ed

It’s never a good thing to set hopes on someone/something.
Because when it doesn’t go the way you want it to, you experience an ugly emotion.
That sheer disappointment.
It’s something that sends your hopes plummeting all the way to the balls of your feet.
If it could go all the way to the depths of the earth, it would.
Rendering all thoughts of letting your fragile little heart to hope again.
You’re acutely aware of it.
Yet you can do nothing.
But to hope again.

Okay, no more depressing, morbid posts.

All minute matters when added together become a huge thing that would need Herculean strength of mind and heart to overcome it.
All the pressure is doing me in.
Slowly, little by little, it’ll eat up my willpower and sap my determination to overcome the shits that’s happening.
I’m being unfair to those around me, those who care for me, those who love me.
But deep down in the dark recess of my heart, I just feel like giving up.
Completely.

Something has been bugging me for quite sometime.
I’m going through a phase of critical thinking and identity crisis.
I’ve been asking myself many questions of late.
Have I been the best daughter that I could be?
Have I been the best sister that I could be?
Have I been the best girlfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best bestfriend that I could be?
Have I been the best supervisor that I could be?
Have i?
It’s been eating me up whole.
I’m so enraptured in living my life to the fullest.
Doing as many things humanly as possible in a day. To ensure that time doesn’t trickle wastefully by without spending it fruitfully, in my definition. But as I went along with living my life, I realized I’ve prioritized all the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong times.
I’m responsible for putting myself where I’m at now. I have to be. I know I must be.
Life is a bitch. It takes so little to make a mistake. It takes so much to rectify it.

DRA-MAA QUEEN.

I hate to say that I'm obligated to anyone. It isn't that I'm unappreciative, Hell NO! I'm grateful yes,to everything that has been done for me but where is the respect?
oh yeah at times we do have fun together and stuffs doing what girls normally do. But your attitude towards not only me but other friends whom you so called cherish is definitely blearghh!!
My assumptions were definitely wrong about you. I thought after the "heart to heart" convo, finally you've awaken but it seems likewise. Its a pity that you've tarnished the childhood memories we had together.
And I thought now that we're adults the understanding between each other deepens. Whats with the comparison of each others lives? You should be happy for one another achievements, not compare! And so I question myself, WHAT are true friends? Yes,what. Not who. It has never crossed my mind to discriminate the way you live your life or worse, to compare who's better than who. Where the hell has the bond gone to? WHAT made you changed? Is it jealousy? Or you're just being a plain minah? HAHA.
I'm to-tally dissappointed,honestly. Seeing the way things are between us brings tears to my eyes. I thought I understand you. I've always been there whenever you needed me. Here I guess you can never trust anyone wholeheartedly in life. Friends may backstab you,anytime. Out of spite,out of jealousy.
But nahhh ~~
my life's too beautiful for any spite and vileness .. :)
and i don't give a fug. i don't owe anyone any living.

sunkisses & raindrops!

Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.
Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.
Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

Right now, I'm missing two of the most important people in my life, Erin and Lat. :(
Erin has been away to Dubai for almost 6 months now. Though Lat's still here, we haven't been spending much time together due to our hectic schedules. GOD! How I miss them both so so much!! There's so much to update and talk about.
I especially miss the late night coffee and supper sessions,the crazy party nights,impulsive shopping sprees and mostly, our holidays together. Sometimes I get so bored to death without this two women!
Its different sometimes when your heart yearns for the companionship of my beautiful bebots! Am counting down the days to dec 29th when Erin's coming back. and hopefully she'll be able to make it for our upcoming trip to Bali! I'm sure we'll definitely have a blast :)
"I love you two chicas!"
xoxo